JBSilBlog

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• 15 seconds of thinking
• 5 seconds of coding
• 3 minutes of waiting for a 43 MB export
• 10 seconds of testing
• Repeat.

Whoever decided to put 3 movies in this file is really going to hear it from me because I’ve spent the majority of the last 2 days staring at a progress bar while repeatedly exporting 43 MB of insect movies.

No, the movies are not at all related to what I’m coding.
No, they’re not an integral part of the product I’m trying to produce.
No, I can’t test the rest of what I’m writing without exporting the whole fucking thing.

BLAARRRGGHHHHHHHHHH

EDIT:
This entire post was written while waiting for the file to export. >_<

Some of you know I’ve been sick for the past two weeks. Mostly just a cold – lots of nasal congestion which leads to lots of coughing. Had a fever last Sunday, but it wasn’t serious. Last week was sucky since I was at work even though I was sick for most of the week. Went to NYC this past weekend, still sick. Travel + sick = more sick than before the travel. So I decided not to go to work Monday. Stayed home and worked a half day instead. My boss was out of town and the office was mostly empty anyway, so I figured it wouldn’t be a big deal. Sent my boss an email letting him know where I was, and called his cell phone twice (he didn’t answer either time).

Apparently Monday when I felt like shit, I turned my alarms off so they didn’t wake me up while I was re-sleeping. This was a bad idea, since I didn’t remember to turn them back on before I went to sleep Monday night. Needless to say, I woke up incredibly late Tuesday, and since my boss was still out of town, decided to throw the sick but working from home card in again so I didn’t have to be late. I actually did a decent amount of work yesterday, unlike what happens when I usually “work from home” (read WoW). Sent my boss another email, and missed a few of his calls because …. I silenced them. But I returned every one of them, a few minutes later, and he never answered. Even left a voice mail! This morning, before I’m even supposed to be at work, I get a voice mail from him. Phone didn’t even ring, just told me I had voice mail. Don’t you hate that?

His voice mail this morning is upset and bordering on angry. Paraphrasing, “I haven’t heard from you in 3 days, etc. etc. You don’t answer my calls, You’re responsible to me for your time, etc. etc. You need to call me, or at least email me if that’s easier for you. I need to know where you are.” … Yea okay…. 1) I’ve emailed you multiple times. Don’t tell me to email you if you’re not going to check your email first. 2) I’ve called you multiple times and left messages. Don’t tell me to call if you’re not going to answer. 3) I’m shaving my damn face off right now so I can come in to work even though I’m still coughing my head off. Don’t tell me you haven’t spoken to me in 3 days if it’s the third day now and I’ll be there in 20 minutes! So I got his voice mail, and immediately called him back. He didn’t answer. Surprised? No, me neither. So I left him a message summarizing points 1 2 and 3 in a very nice way, proceeded to finish getting ready and come in to work.

I get to work and don’t even make it to my office to put down my bag before he calls me in to his office. But, this is not at all surprising to me, since he think I’ve been missing for three days  …  yes, 3 days at 9 am on Wednesday …

I go into his office and explain to him that I have emailed him multiple times and called him back every time he called me, and he never once answered. I also left voice mail messages which he didn’t check. His major complaint was that he didn’t know where I was yesterday, but that someone in the office had told him I was on AIM all day. Well, yea, I was on AIM all day because I was sitting at home working like I had tried to tell him. But did he read his email? No. Did he realize that I show up on AIM even when I’m not there because messages get forwarded to my phone? Not until after he left the nasty voice mail.

“So are you taking two days of PTO (Personal Time Off)?”
“No, I was working for 12 of those 16 hours. I’ll make up the rest on Saturday, like my emails said.”
“Oh. Well I just want to make sure you get your work done.”
“Thats why I was working instead of just taking the days off.”
“Okay.”

Pwnd. Don’t call ME incommunicado if you can’t/don’t check your email and can’t/don’t answer your phone when I call! RAH!

I love my job.

I’m sick and tired of this crap

I can’t handle being in classes any more. They’re pointless, I don’t learn anything, they’re way too expensive, and they take up too much friggin’ time and energy.
My job is so boring and mundane and mindbogglingly annoying that I just want to quit and go broke and become homeless.

But I cant afford to not be here because I make a decent wage, I make my own hours and I might still be able to get the $5000 tuition reimbursement to pay down my loan.
And I can’t afford to not go to classes because it’s too late to drop them so even if I wanted out, I wouldn’t get reimbursed and theres no more money to pay tuition with and theres no chance I could (or would want to) get another loan if I wanted to take them later.

I’m stuck and I hate it.

I just want to crawl into a corner and not come out until I can have a real life in a place where it doesn’t snow for eight months and a job that doesn’t make me want to commit suicide.

And if I can manage to stick it out and actually go to classes and do the work, I’ll have a god damn degree in March. Finally. But, it will mean keeping up this routine that I’ve so far tried for 2 weeks and not been able to handle, for another 8 weeks, plus finals …. Followed by an even more stressful schedule involving two classes on top of a 40 hour work week, for another 10 weeks, and then another round of finals. I honestly don’t think I have it in me.

And I know if I can’t pull it off I’ll never come back and finish my degree. No one will respect me, especially the people that I’m closest too. I’ll never get the salary that I deserve, and I’ll probably never be able to speak to my parents again (although that last part has it’s perks).

~This post transplanted from a misguided rant

Lots new on the work front, none of it good (I don’t think). Where to start ….

Well, last year my tiny little company was sold to a much larger company. We retained our name and staff, but just gained the ability to grow, tremendously. We were relocated to a brand new facility with much greater resources and much more space. We’ve been growing since.

The company that owns us, also owns two other companies All four of us are educational companies. Now, I don’t have a firm understanding of how this all works, but basically company D owns us, and company E and company C. There’s a group of rich white men in Manhattan that own D, which, in turn, means they own us as well.

As far as I’ve been told, the rich white men were not looking to sell D for another 2 or 3 years, but some other company (we haven’t been told who yet, so X) came in and put an offer on the table to buy D, E, C and us all in one package. I don’t know where you come up with that kind of money, but the offer was so good that D is now on the market to be sold. They went and got a whole bunch of other offers, and apparently we will be sold to new owners within the next few weeks.

When the sale occurs, the President (maybe CEO now? dunno) and founder of my company will be leaving. There is a lot of speculation as to whether he was asked to leave, or he decided to leave or what, but I think he’s been planning on leaving since the original sale last June. I don’t know if this company will survive without him. Truly I think we’d be fine without him, the problem will occur with his replacement. They wont tell us if they’re going to promote from within or hire someone to come in here and run the company. Neither sound like good ideas, so I’m kinda worried.

They’re claiming they don’t know what the new owners will want to do about replacing him. I think that’s just not true, but if it is, it most likely also means they’re not sure they want to keep my company around any more. If you’re not sure you want a president for the company, you probably don’t want the company at all. At least as far as I can tell.

Not quite as important, but still a work environment change, one of my friends has decided to go back to school. She gave her two weeks notice today. I’ve known she was leaving for a long while now, but it just became real today. Kinda sad. Lunches will be lonelier now.

Also the new guy that I mentioned a few months back will be leaving, or at least becoming part time and only out-of-office work come September.

The new girl that I’ve only mentioned to a few of you will also be leaving come September.

The other programmer that has been here for a while is in Greece right now, on a six week vacation. He said he wasn’t sure if he was coming back, but our boss basically assumed he would be coming back. If he doesn’t, there will be literally no one at the company within ten years of my age.

One of the receptionists, though not my age, but a friend of mine, is very pregnant. She will be taking her maternity leave shortly, and I think she has plans to not return afterward, but I’m not sure yet.

That makes the President, 3 or 4 people in product development, and a receptionist/customer service person. The rats are abandoning ship, and I’m going to be left trying to keep it afloat until January so I can get my tuition reimbursement.

This should be fun.

9 am physics test
10am learn more physics,
11am returning notes + having lunch
12 noon physics lab and learning more physics
2pm work till 7pm
8pm physics homework (that i should have done before this morning’s test, but my professor’s an IDIOT!!!!!!!!)
…
9am physics
… rinse and repeat

thats far too much for one day. i should get an award or something. or a break. that would be even better.

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So, of course I wasn’t told to buy a computer until yesterday. I’m going to put the order in today, after George has nitpicked every detail and removed every spare cent that makes the computer worthwhile. Benny starts Monday. Obviously the computer cannot be here by Monday. Guess who’s computer he gets to use until his computer shows up.

Yes, to add insult to injury, not only will he be making more money than I am, need training from me, and still be expected to put out less work than I put out, but he gets to use my computer. The fact that I own a personal laptop means that I don’t actually need a computer here at this company.

I feel completely disrespected and worthless.