JBSilBlog

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Sad to say it, but I fell off the back of the Fitness Train, as sylvieus put it. For over a month. Bad me, bad. I managed to not put any of the weight that I had originally lost back on, so that’s a plus. Not an excuse by any means, but still, better than gaining it all back. That would have pissed me off.

Anyway, I climbed back on yesterday, and buckled in for the long haul. Yesterday sucked because I wasn’t used to it, but today was much much better. I’ve decided to do a full cardio-resistance-abs workout once a day, and I’m going to try doing another set of abs/push-ups at night, assuming I worked out in the morning. Like I said, I’m buckled in this time. I’m done jerking myself around, telling myself I’ll eventually lose the weight and look better, and then not working out. Doesn’t make any sense. So now it’s 6 days a week, 7 if I feel up to it. Until I’m at my target weight, and then I’ll reevaluate how often I need to keep it up to keep the weight off.

I’ve set a VERY ambitious goal for myself for before the New Orleans trip on April 19th. If I actually make it to that goal, I’ll have to celebrate or something. But as long as I actually try, and get relatively close, I’ll be happy. There’s also another fairly ambitious goal for before AIDS Walk on May 20th. That one I’ve got almost 2 months to reach, so if I don’t get there, it will be no ones fault but my own. It would be nice to actually feel good about the way I look by the time summer rolls around. I don’t think I’ll quite make it, but I should be damn close. A hell of a lot closer than I am now, that’s for sure.

Speaking of which, AIDS Walk is just over a month away. Most of you probably got an email about it, and you all saw this post, so this is just a friendly reminder =D. http://aidswalknewyork2007.kintera.org/jbsil - in case you lost the link *smirk*

10 lbs and counting. Although no visible change yet, it still feels like progress. *check*

Class starts 2 weeks from today. I thought they started on the 17th, but was informed by the lovely Maureen that the 17th is a Saturday, so I checked the schedule again and it’s actually the 12th. I’ve decided to take one class this quarter and one over the summer (accelerated 5 week session) for a multitude of reasons. Mostly because it will make my scheduling a hell of a lot easier, and make my boss happier, and probably be easier for me to actually keep attending the classes this time through. Here’s hoping.

Point being, I really am going back to school to finally finish. It’s actually starting to set in, now that it’s only 2 weeks away. Definite progress there. *check* Just got off the phone with the Financial Aid office, getting rid of the loan I worked so hard to get since I’m not eligible for it if I’m only taking 1 class. That’s taken care of. *check* Already transfered money out of savings into my bank so I can pay for the one class directly. That money will be reimbursed (back into savings) by my job. Saweeet. Still need to send over the pre-approval forms to HR. Will get that done today. *check*

I haven’t thought about she who must not be named basically at all, unless she was brought up to me, or something distinctly reminded me of her. Except to write this paragraph. It’s been .. a number of weeks this way. It, overall, feels better to not think about her. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss her when I do think about her. But, in general, I’m feeling a much more generic loneliness, as opposed to specifically missing her. *check* It’s also gotten to the point where what we had, while great, is clearly gone, and will never be again. I know that I have to find something else, with someone new. A large part of me wants to rush out and find someone right away, but that’s just the loneliness talking. I know that I need some time to work on myself. In so many aspects of my life, I’m not where I want to be, and I’m not happy about it. I know that I can’t find true happiness with someone else until I can be happy with myself. *open box*  My therapist thought that was supposed to be his line, but I beat him to it.

That’s all for now. Much much more(for most of you) after lunch.

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I’ve got split ends!!!!!! Who would have thought, me of all people, could have split ends? I don’t even remember the last time i had hair long enough to get split ends. Granted I’m talking like 3 that I can find, but STILL!

Oh, and I’ve lost 5 lbs. Looong way to go, but at least I’m en route.

EDIT: I just realized, there’s no one reading this that’s ever even seen me with long hair, except

blade501

, and he probably doesn’t even remember. That’s kind of bizarre.