I came to the realization this morning (in the shower, of course, where all terrific thinking gets done), that LiveJournal has played a huge part in my life for the past few months. Without having a medium to vent my frustrations and more importantly, to explain what’s happening in my life, I would never have the chance to figure out as much as I have about myself. It’s really phenomenal how much you can learn about yourself, just by writing about your own life. The process of explaining it so others can understand is somehow enlightening or at least clarity inducing.

I don’t know if any of you other LJers feel this way, but I’d be interested to find out. In any case, this post goes out to LiveJournal itself, and to all of my friends who I know take the time to read the pages and pages I pour out into this journal. Thanks for being here.

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10 lbs and counting. Although no visible change yet, it still feels like progress. *check*

Class starts 2 weeks from today. I thought they started on the 17th, but was informed by the lovely Maureen that the 17th is a Saturday, so I checked the schedule again and it’s actually the 12th. I’ve decided to take one class this quarter and one over the summer (accelerated 5 week session) for a multitude of reasons. Mostly because it will make my scheduling a hell of a lot easier, and make my boss happier, and probably be easier for me to actually keep attending the classes this time through. Here’s hoping.

Point being, I really am going back to school to finally finish. It’s actually starting to set in, now that it’s only 2 weeks away. Definite progress there. *check* Just got off the phone with the Financial Aid office, getting rid of the loan I worked so hard to get since I’m not eligible for it if I’m only taking 1 class. That’s taken care of. *check* Already transfered money out of savings into my bank so I can pay for the one class directly. That money will be reimbursed (back into savings) by my job. Saweeet. Still need to send over the pre-approval forms to HR. Will get that done today. *check*

I haven’t thought about she who must not be named basically at all, unless she was brought up to me, or something distinctly reminded me of her. Except to write this paragraph. It’s been .. a number of weeks this way. It, overall, feels better to not think about her. Don’t get me wrong, I still miss her when I do think about her. But, in general, I’m feeling a much more generic loneliness, as opposed to specifically missing her. *check* It’s also gotten to the point where what we had, while great, is clearly gone, and will never be again. I know that I have to find something else, with someone new. A large part of me wants to rush out and find someone right away, but that’s just the loneliness talking. I know that I need some time to work on myself. In so many aspects of my life, I’m not where I want to be, and I’m not happy about it. I know that I can’t find true happiness with someone else until I can be happy with myself. *open box*  My therapist thought that was supposed to be his line, but I beat him to it.

That’s all for now. Much much more(for most of you) after lunch.

Weekend away was amazing in so many ways. I had an absolutely fabulous time. Easily the best weekend I’ve had in months (although I refuse to count how many months). And there was no sex! Imagine that. She really is indescribably amazing, inspiring, and gorgeous. And if she ever read that she’d be completely beet red. More on this later, for some of you.

Was really good to see 

sylvieus

 again for the first time in a long long while. And a great halfway stopping point, although it did make the entire journey about 3 and a half hours longer, but that was time well spent.

The drive home was too short. It’s really amazing how much thinking you can get done when you have to travel 300 miles on one highway. But, at 80-95 the whole way, I needed more time. Maybe I’ll drive slower next time. .. Ha! That was funny.

I’m presently aware of and consistently reminded of a void that had previously been Level A Classified: Need to know basis only. Apparently now I need to know, even though I don’t want to, and it does me no good to know, except possibly to act as fuel to the fire. More on this later as well.

For now, good night is in order. Sweet dreams all around, I know I have some in store. No more teeth nightmares, kkthx.

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After that amazing response from American Express, offering me a different card because it was the color red, I really wasn’t sure what to do with myself.

So, I made sure to make my e-mail to Verizon much more specific. I complained about making the world a better place, leading the nation in an amazing movement, and even mentioned contributing to the Global Fund.

The highlight of the response I got, which was mostly about surcharges I can incur on my account (calling 411, going over my text messaging limit, sending Picture messages, etc.) simply astounds me.

“Jesse, keep in mind we do offer the Motorola Krazer Fire phone. This is a red wireless phone.”
 There are no words.

DO THE (RED) THING! at JOINRED.COM
Sprint customers, Buy a (MOTO) RED! I would get one, but Verizon doesn’t offer them. Bastards. I’ve already sent a nasty email.
UK dwellers, get (AMEX) RED!! …. Yes, American Express offers this card exclusively in the UK. Explain that one! The Indian customer service lady I called certainly couldn’t. She offered me a Star rewards card for travel rewards instead, since that card (literally) is red. Uh, kinda not there point there, sweetheart.
iPod (PRODUCT) RED Special Edition! Wewt mine’s almost here. Or, buy an iTunes PRODUCT (RED) Gift Card for yourself or someone you know!
And go buy some cool clothes from (GAP) RED.

EDIT: Let me know if you upgrade yourself to (YOU) RED before or after reading this post.

Your Brain is Blue

Of all the brain types, yours is the most mellow. You tend to be in a meditative state most of the time. You don’t try to think away your troubles. Your thoughts are realistic, fresh, and honest. You truly see things as how they are. You tend to spend a lot of time thinking about your friends, your surroundings, and your life.

I don’t try to think away my troubles? That’s news to me …

You Are Really Not Happy

You may have noticed that things aren’t going too well for you lately. Your life never used to be like this, but it seems like happiness is slipping away from you. You definitely need a change, because whatever you have going on isn’t working. It’s time for you to shake things up – even if it means totally changing your life path.

OH BOY! This one’s a real surprise …

Reworked my AIM Buddy List this morning, in light of last night’s events (including events not mentioned here). Only deleted a select few people that I haven’t spoken to in years and never want to speak to again. Everyone I haven’t spoken to in a while but don’t want to forget, or want to stop talking to/checking on got moved into Reference groups which will remain closed unless they need to be opened for some reason. Though more accurate, my Buddy List is pretty sad now. It fits on one page. I need more friends.

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